Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
