At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
