This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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