I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
