so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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