he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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