Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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