You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
