Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
