Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
