do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize