She is in my trunk
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
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