We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Randomize
