Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
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Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
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We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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