i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
