accomplished twins. life is a go
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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