Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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