i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
