Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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