Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
