I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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