Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Naked. naked and bneed help.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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