I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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