There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize