Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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