Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
