Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(415): View more from California

I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games

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(310): View more from California

dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.

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(510): View more from California

I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms

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If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
Read it at the TFLN blog
(330): View more from Ohio

he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.

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(406): View more from Montana

To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.

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(308): View more from Nebraska

Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.

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(614): View more from Ohio

I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.

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(512): View more from Texas

Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.

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