you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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