oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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