So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
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I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
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Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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