do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
