He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
