Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
My breasts were aching with rage.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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