Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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