hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
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