Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize