but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
