i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
