you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
