He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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