Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
