i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
