yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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