He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
