just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
