So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
