1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize