I am puke
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
