I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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