Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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