no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
The feeling are messing with the penis
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Randomize
