anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize