Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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