Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success