who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
