He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
