I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
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