The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
