Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
