wanna go halves on a baby?
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Randomize
