i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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