Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Randomize