Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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