you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
