Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I did not marry a roomba.
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