If you die in college, do you die in real life?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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