I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
