New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Barsexuality is the new black.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
