we have officially lost it.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
