Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
