I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
